Absolutely Discouraged New Aquarist

[Menders]

Obviously I'm new to the hobby and haven't battled half of the problems advance aquarist have had over their triumphant and not so triumphant years of reefing. I have never been so discouraged as I currently am now.
As if feeling the loss of one of my first and favorite fish (a birthday present) that past away last night due to a powerhead incident hasn't been bad enough, I have a damsel and yellow kole eye tang terrorizing a recently added pink spotted watchman goby. :angryfire:I can't believe how bad these two fish are being and are ganging up together to bully the goby.
Unfortunately and regretfully I do not have a quarantine tank set up or else this would help alleviate some of the stress on not only the goby but myself as well.:headwally: The problem is they have harassed this fish so much to the point he is about ready to die. It's going on the 5th night and it is just getting more and more intolerable. The goby has stopped eating today and is breathing and acting weird. He keeps trying to hide and there is a nice cave for him that he has been hiding in, however, the other two fish just keep swimming in the cave and fanning their tail and hovering on top of the goby.:uzi: I seriously think the goby doesn't have the strength to keep defending himself like he was doing the first couple of days.
I feel absolutely terrible for this fish that I have put it in this environment and don't know what to do now. I tried catching him and putting him in this plastic carrier tank so he wouldn't be bothered but the attempt has failed. I did turn off all lights in hopes of helping them all calm down but I don't think that matters to the bully crew. I've been so ****ed off at the damsel and tang :angryfire:that my enjoyment of this hobby has now taken a toll in the wrong direction. :(
We had not planned on adding anymore fish but now we just have two bullies running everything and even replacing my favorite fish is out of the question.
I'm upset about the whole situation and feel like a terrible marine keeper.:o
If you have taken the time to read this long essay of a story I deeply apologize for the ranting and raving on and on. If by chance you have any sound advice to give I would be more than happy to listen.
Lesson learned in this matter I guess, and you never really learn anything unless you experience it firsthand. I'm just hoping this discouragement doesn't settle in for good. These darn fish..... why can't they just play nice and all get along!!!
Thanks for listening all! :beer:

[usingthejohn]

Don't get discouraged. While witnessing the aggression is sad, remember a lot of us have made many mistakes (veteran or not)

Here's my mistakes in the last year:

Shifting a 2 year old sand bed in a tank that finished stocking (ammonia spike from 0 to 5). Killed 6 fish

Not properly QTing a fish and having it wipe out 12 fish due to black ich

Losing all my coral cause I relied on a hydrometer and not a refractometer to maintain salinity (salinity was .032. Oooops)

Losing more coral cause I wasn't testing and finally noticed calcium was 300...then over correcting within 12 hrs and raising it to 480

Making the noobie mistake of adding a blue tang in after a purple was 4 weeks estavlished....therefore watching the blue get bullied to death while I failed at catching one or the other

Don't get out. It is frustrating but you will be able to learn from this should you choose to. Sadly it's part of the hobby. Making mistakes and losing livestock on the road to building your own personal reef

[reefwiser]

One thing I would suggest is finding the local Marine Aquarium Society and learning from them. Ask questions everyone started as a beginner. The problems you are having are one's
everyone in the hobby has had in the past. Some just will not admit it. Always do things slow. The saying goes Nothing good happens fast in a Reef Aquarium.

[gone fishin]

I am certainly sorry to hear this. Damsels are well damsels and that is what they do. I am kind of surprised at the kole. I would not expect for them to go after a goby they really do not occupy the same niche.

I hate to ask but what size tank is it?

[Nina51]

have you tried rearranging your rocks? if you can do this without disturbing your sand bed (don't want to stir up the gunk), you might try rearranging as much as you can. this may help if the issue is one of territory. damsels are damsels and damsels are brats! i, too, am surprised at the kole tang's behavior. they are usually quite peaceful.

don't get discouraged. i know it's tough, we've all been there at one time or another. :)

[justthewife]

If you are trying to catch a fish, it sometimes helps to make an inverted plastic bottle with a little yummy food in it. You cut the top off of a clean water bottle or some other bottle and invert it into the base so that the fish can swim in but take a little more time trying to get out. Maybe if you place the bottle near the goby he would swim in and the other fish may not be able to reach him. Hopefully they are bigger than he is. Then you could scoop him out. Be prepared to catch every crab in the bottle too lol. I am wondering if the goby was so stressed by something that he became weak and the other fish sensed it. Some Gobies seem to get stressed easily. Or try to catch the bully fish in the bottle and take them back to the LFS and trade them in.